Like me, my friend Elora from work is doing a 30 day program to lose weight and start eating better. She is doing the Whole 30, which is very similar to my program except she can’t have grains (BOO) and she doesn’t have supplements or pay for it. She is doing it along with another woman in her department, but she’s also been an awesome source of support for me. To help me with this week’s transition, she sent me this article. Oh man, am I in for a wild ride.
The article, if you don’t want to read it, is a mood timeline that most Whole30 people go through. SInce our programs are so similar, we’re pretty sure I’m going to have the same issues. Here we go.
Day 1: I felt AWESOME. I was like, WAM BAM THANK YOU MAM I can do anything youputinfrontofmeIamworkingsoquicklytodaywowlookatmego. I scoffed in the general direction of the doubters and I walked around all cocky. Yeah, I started to get irritated at people who I felt were dissuading me, but I know they were just stupid doubters. DOUBTERS ALL OF YOU. I went to bed happy, only being tempted by food a few times that day.
Day 2: I felt slow. Just as predicted, yesterday was tough. Food wise I actually did ok – I wasn’t tempted once, even when Jason made one of my favorite cocktails (it tastes like black licorice, nom nom). But I felt hungover, tired and just out of it.
Day 3: I KILL ALL THE THINGS. So according to the time-line, this phase wasn’t supposed to start until tomorrow. I actually had a mix of both hangover and hatred. I made it to the gym this morning and I was feeling it by the time I got to work. But I was also annoyed.at.every.single.thing.and.person. At the gym that morning, this guy I refer to as “Weird Sweat Stain Guy” decided to drop his sweatshirt two inches from where I was working out and had the audacity to do his workout so close to me. SO CLOSE. I growled and shot him the stink eye – regardless of the fact that there wasn’t anywhere else really for him to go. Later, I sat in my cubicle mumbling curse words and grumbling whenever someone did something that annoyed me. (At one point my coworker had to ask if I was going to be ok…) I think I shouted at my computer screen at least once, maybe twice. I was happy to see that I was not hating on those who were not annoying. But since I spend most of my time being annoyed at people at work anyway, this just made it near unbearable. I spent my lunch break venting to my friend Ashley about my “struggle” and by that point I was annoyed with myself. I am really looking forward to Day 4.
I am definitely nervous about Days 6-7, since I will be traveling with Jason (he’s running in Maine) and it will not be the ideal time to take a nap. I am sure I will soldier through. Maybe. Probably.
I don’t know how I feel about what may happen Days 8-15. I already have pretty fucked up dreams, and I really don’t know how I’m going to feel about adding Twinkies and Ho-Hos to that. I mean, last night I had a dream that I was a red head, and my sister and I were being chased by some unknown man. My point of view would go from watching Red-Head Emily and my sister running and hiding to watching two detectives trying to find us and figuring out why we chose to do what we did. One kept calling me “the red headed minx” and the other detective was Bill Clinton. It was all very 1970s buddy copy dramedy. Can you imagine adding food cravings to that? Billy Boy and I would be having a field day.
At work I have a big heart around Day 16. Day 16 is going to be the bestest day ever, because I am going to be in the best mood EVER. Seriously dudes, if you want to ask me for a favor, I highly recommend waiting until Day 16 to ask. I’ll probably be so excited to feel normal that I’ll agree to anything, even if it involves murdering your ex.
Days 29 and 30 will be full of panic and unsure-ness, but I think I’ll be ok. I will probably spend most of my time planning out my meals for Day 31 and figuring out the best way to add ice cream or cheese back in without wanting to die. Days 29 and 30 might be difficult because I’ll be day dreaming the whole time. But Days 29 and 30 might be a breeze and might make me consider extending my program just a little longer.